Kool Thingzzz

I’m trusting that B in Apartment 23, despite the advice I received.

Let me tell you, every advertisement (more like adverTEASEment) told me not to, but I’m totally trusting the B in apartment twenty-three. Now, in case you haven’t figured it out, the “B” stands for bitch, which is a bad word. You see, the show was originally called “Don’t trust the bitch in apartment 23,” which is a very bad title. THAT TITLE DOESN’T EVEN RHYME! ALL THE BEST TITLES RHYME! David Simon’s “The Wire & The Fire,” the Joel McHale vehicle “Community Immunity,” CBS’ staple reality show “Survivor: I am one I’m gonna make it I will survive Keep on survivin’.”

To be completely honest, I was a bit wary on this show, especially when the title didn’t even rhyme (which I’ve already discussed) Krysten Ritter’s career thus far has been a bit spotty. She was great on “Breaking Bad, Getting Mad,” which was a show about a Mad magazine writer who starts cooking meth when Mad Magazine goes under. But, she was also on “Gravity” which was a bad show, as you can tell by the fact that the title doesn’t rhyme.

I figured I would try out the show, because why not? If it dies suck, at least I’ve got a good thirty minutes saying things like “Man, that B in Apt. 23, can’t trust her.” As it turns out, the show is actually pretty funny. I didn’t even need to make those jokes, not that I didn’t.

As that one producer of Two and a Half Men said “we are reaching peak vagina on television” which may or may not be true, but also is not a bad thing. Unfortunately, the “vaginas” saturating television puts a lot of pressure on Krysten Ritter and her costar. Will this show be funnier than Whitney and Chelsea? (by the way, it is) How will it compare to New Girl? Are there other sitcoms with female leads? Mike & Molly? What is that show about? Anyway, the fact that the two leads are woman does not negatively affect the humor of the show. The show is funny and I might even watch the second episode.

mywritingdesk asked: Are you on Twitter?

Yep! https://twitter.com/#!/KoolThingzzz

Awake is a television show you should watch

Awake, which is being heralded as the next Smash, premieres this Thursday. NBC is currently airing the pilot episode on their website. You should stop reading this and go watch that. It is so much better than whatever I’m about to write.

From this point on I’m going to talk about what happens in the episode, so consider this a spoiler alert. I’ll try not to go too deep into the specifics, but I am going to cite certain points in the episode that are fairly important.

The episode begins with the family getting in a car accident. Their faces are cut up, they are hanging upside down. The main character, Michael Britten, played by Jason Isaacs, is seen talking to his therapist, Dr. Lee. He explains his situation. He has finally gone back to work and has a new partner to make sure he is ok. He promises he is, but also is living in two realities. In one, his wife survived the accident, in the other, his son survived. In his wife’s reality, or the “red” reality (as made clear by a red rubberband around Britten’s wrist) he talks to Dr. Lee. In his son’s reality, the “green” reality, he talks to Dr. Evans.

Both doctors seem to only be concerned with proving the current reality is the true reality. I thought that was strange, but not unsurprising. You would think each therapist would be more concerned with uncovering the true reality and help their patient get through his extreme grieving, instead of promoting their own reality. Although, in the context of the show, it makes sense that the therapists would be homers in the way they are. At least one of them is a conjuration of Britten’s imagination and Britten equally wants both realities to exist. So, he will continue to tell himself, in dream, that that reality is true. More on my theory of the therapists and realities later.

One thing I was apprehensive about with this show was the “cop drama” side of it. The show was and is promoted as psychological thriller, and it is that. But, as I researched it, I found that the main characters job is police detective, just like half the other television dramas. (See: Person of Interest, Law & Order, Bones, Blue Bloods, Castle, Criminal Minds, CSI:, Hawaii Five-O, The Mentalist, etc.) I figured the show would focus on the crime-of-the-week and sprinkle in some psychological thriller each week for ratings. Luckily, that is not at all what happened. Instead, the two themes of the show integrate perfectly. Things in the red reality seemingly help him solve crimes in the green reality, and vice versa. And while that is helpful in solving crimes, it is also slowly deteriorating his mind. This week, in the red reality, Britten discovers a red hair from a wig a suspect was wearing. The suspect in the green reality also had red hair. In the red reality, the original crime occurs at the street adress “611.” Back in the green reality, there is an important parking space labeled “611,” leading Britten and his partner to a trailer where they find the kidnapped girl they’d been looking for. In the red reality, Wilmer Valderrama plays Britten’s partner, whereas he is simply a cop Britten momentarily crosses paths with in the green reality. So, while you are watching the show, it seems like the crimes intersect, but a good detective could have solved the crimes just as easily without the help of a split reality.

Another fear I had of the show was that it was unsustainable. I had assumed each week we would be trying to figure out which reality was the true one. I worried it would become repetitive very quickly (ahem, Dexter, ahem). But those fears were dashed as well. Near the end of the episode Britten is talking to Dr. Lee. He says, basically, “I’m living with my son and my wife. And I’ve seen them both be buried. Do you know what you think when you see a loved one being buried? ‘I would do anything to have them back.’ And if that means giving up my sanity, that’s fine.” So, as for now, it seems we will be stuck with both realities, and I am 100% okay with that.

As for which reality I believe is the true reality, I think neither are. I think he is dreaming both of them. I think both his wife and son died in the accident and this is his weird way of coping with that. (For the record, if one of them is real, my money’s on the red one.)

“Funny, I get the impression they don’t know where they’re headed for. Come to that, do any of us?” A Doctor Who retrospective: Season One

That quote comes from James Stirling, an ally of The Doctor, during the Reign of Terror serial. I’ve just finished the very first season of Doctor Who. The very first season, featuring William Hartnell as The Doctor. He was joined by his grand-daughter, Susan, and two of her school teachers Ian Chesterton and Barbara Wright. In the first episode Ian and Susan become curious of Susan. They follow her after school, like any good teacher would do. They see Susan go into a junkyard and eventually into a police phone box.

Ian puts his hand up to the box and feels a vibration. Ian and Barbara are caught investigating and enter the phone box. They discover the box is bigger on the inside, and thus begins a 50-year history of adventure and intrigue. Confused and amazed, Ian and Barbara are on their first adventure with The Doctor and Susan.

Now, it being 2012 and having seen the new series and plenty of other modern television, my instinct is to hold this to modern television standards. That is a bad idea. You have to be incredibly patient with this show at times. Sometimes it seems like nothing happens for the entire serial (i.e. Reign of Terror), while other times you might want to marathon the entire serial (i.e. The Keys of Marinus). The one thing I find incredible about the first season was the gradual acceptance of the TARDIS and The Doctor by Ian and Barbara. The first serial (An Unearthly Child) is filled with questions like “Where are we” and “Doctor Who,” while in the last serial (The Reign of Terror) Ian proposes “Where to next,” like these adventures are commonplace.

Surprisingly, the first season only contained eight adventures by The Doctor and his cohorts. That seems like very few, but the ninth doctor only went on ten adventures in the first season of the revived series. Four of the adventures were historical, which seems rare in the new series, especially the way the classic series does these episodes. There are no ghosts in the gas pipes, or televisions sucking people’s faces or souls or whatever (We can all agree The Idiot’s Lantern was pretty terrible, right?). The drama generally came from the TARDIS team’s appearance where they shouldn’t be. In “An Unearthly Child” they must deal with landing in the time of neanderthals. In “Marco Polo” (my favorite historical serial) the team meets, surprise, Marco Polo, and travel with him. Marco Polo quickly trusts the lot of them, but Tegana, a member of Marco Polo’s caravan, believes The Doctor is some sort of evil wizard and tries to convince Marco Polo of such. In “The Aztecs” Susan is believed to be a reincarnation of a god and runs into trouble when she tries to change history. “The Reign of Terror” is the final serial of the season, setting The Doctor, Susan, Ian and Barbara right in the middle of the French Revolution and right in the middle of getting arrested. Well, not The Doctor. The Doctor is right in the middle of getting stuck in a burning house then pretending to be someone he’s not.

He trades in his clothes (and his cool ring!) for a flamboyant costume and feathered hat. Then swaggers around Paris like he is in charge a region of France and has only come to Paris for a visit. You know, like The Doctor does.

The other type of serial is the ones in which they go to other planets (and in one instance are stuck in the TARDIS because of everyone going crazy and also no one going crazy). The second serial introduced The Daleks, and is conveniently called “The Daleks.” Writers back then were really clever. The fun thing about that is, as a viewer, you know what The Daleks become to The Doctor and fellow timelords. But, in this serial, while still vile, they don’t seem any more dangerous than any other villain. Season one also featured the serial “The Sensorites” which featured, yep, a race of aliens called “Sensorites.” This serial was the only time the sensorites have ever been featured on the show, which is unfortunate because they seemed like a very interesting race. Then again, I’m not sure what could be done with them, as the species was almost entirely dead when The Doctor arrived and as a group, they weren’t malicious or interesting enough to become recurring villains. Their entire set of ideals was being nice and everyone getting along. The serial also seemed like it may have been an allegory for communism. This serial is often mentioned when discussing links between the new series and the classic. At one point Susan discusses what Gallifrey looks like, which the tenth doctor echoes 40-some years later. Also, you know the Ood? They are basically cousins of the Sensorites, so that’s a thing.

By far, the best episode of the first season, other-worldly or otherwise, was “The Keys of Marinus.” The group lands on a strange, empty planet. After exploring for some time, they run into a man who needs help. All over this planet are keys to start this machine that does a thing. Whatever, it’s not important. The man enlists The Doctor and his team to find these keys. If they don’t, these bad guys will kill the man and everyone else they can find. And that’s bad. The man gives everyone transporters to wear around their wrists. Oh, also, the man has put a forcefield around the TARDIS, so they can’t leave. They agree to help this old man. Almost immediately after jumping to their next spot, the man is killed. Each episode features a new obstacle for each member of the group. It is a lot like Gymkata, or a better movie featuring a lot of obstacles. What “The Keys of Marinus” offers is a lot of action and fast-paced plot in a season that features a lot of talking to historical and alien higher-ups.

If this show began airing in 2005 with William Hartnell and his team, Ian and Barbara would be the “Will they, won’t they” relationship. Everything is there. They are both (fairly) young, one can assume attractive (I don’t know what people found attractive in the mid 60’s), and both are single (or so we can assume). Plus, they’re stuck in the TARDIS. And everybody loves everybody in the TARDIS.

(Poor Donna)

But, for some reason Ian and Barbara never look at each other in that way, or at least haven’t yet. I don’t what season two holds. My guess is that they don’t end up together, which would be a shame. Barbara tends to develop a crush on every boy while on adventures. Okay, so it actually only happened, like, twice, but still! That’s 25% of the time! Doesn’t she know she has a perfectly suitable man in Ian? Women, amirite?

Now, I know I’m supposed to like Susan because she is The Doctor’s grand daughter, but yeesh, that girl is annoying. I’m not sure exactly how The Doctor convinced her to come along in the TARDIS, but she’s here now and will be around for some time longer. She is not cut out for space-time travel. Ian is a strong, confident person and Barbara is very caring and influential. They are both great companions to The Doctor. Susan, on the other hand, is terrible at travelling with him. All she ever does is get lost and scream. Granted, she is supposedly only 15-years-old, but come on. She should at least try to help. That being said, I am terrified whenever she is in danger. I don’t think she would be able to survive if not for the help of The Doctor, Ian and Barbara. I think the only reason I care about her well-being is because I know it would destroy The Doctor and Barbara, who has become something of a mother-figure to Susan. That’s another great thing about this season, the relationship between Barbara and Susan.

Obviously, The Doctor is fantastic in his first and original incarnation. He is sarcastic, intelligent, clever as ever, and, most importantly, cares deeply for his friends.

If you’ve got 25 minutes to kill every day, you should definitely watch Doctor Who from the start.

Note: If you haven’t watched the New Series, you will probably be bored out of your mind watching the classic series. Go watch the first episode of the revived series with Christopher Eccleston as the ninth doctor. Then watch the second episode with Eccleston, and so on until you see the most recent episode with Matt Smith. Once you are sufficiently obsessed impressed with the show, jump in your TARDIS and go back to 1963* to watch the very first episode.

*I’m sorry. That was really stupid. Plus, you don’t even have a TARDIS. You just have the internet. Use that. It will be much easier for you.

2011 Extra Va Ganza Nominees!

Happy 2012! Let us fondly remember 2011 with a bunch of awards!

Guilty Pleasure TV Show:

Pretty Little Liars

American Horror Story

The Challenge

Jersey Shore

The Real World

Koolest Questionable Song:

Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO

Look at Me Now - Chris Brown

TGIF - Katy Perry

Price Tag - Jessie J

Gucci Gucci - Kreyashawn

Koolest Viral Video:

“Thumbs Up for Rock and Roll!”

Friday

Marcel 2

A Very Heavy Bertation

Old Man loves Selena Gomez

Chuck Testa

Livin De Life

Like Mah Status

Koolest Music Video:

St. Vincent - Cruel

Kanye West - All of the Lights

Radiohead - Lotus Flower

Childish Gambino - Bonfire

Kanye West & Jay-Z - Otis

Destroyer - Kaputt

M83 - Midnight City

The New Pornographers - Moves

Tyler, The Creator - Yonkers

Koolest Guy:

Donald Glover

Kanye West

Ryan Gosling

Jay-Z

Jason Seagal

Tyler, The Creator

Conan O’Brien

Taran Killam

Matt Smith

Bryan Cranston

Aaron Paul

Adam Scott

Aziz Ansari

Rob Lowe

Koolest Girl:

Annie Clark

Alison Brie

Nicki Minaj

Beyonce

Zooey Deschanel

Jenn Wasner

Karen Gillan

Adele

Amy Podhler

Best TV Show:

Community

Breaking Bad

Parks & Rec

Louie

Homeland

Doctor Who

Misfits

New Girl

Parenthood

Wilfred

Best Movie:

The Muppets

Attack the Block

Drive

Martha Marcy Mary Marlene

Win Win

Bridesmaids

Super 8

Captain America

Moneyball

50/50

WORST:

Whitney

Jack & Jill

Jared Loghner

Kardashian Wedding/Divorce

Lulu

NBA Lockout

Jerry Sandusky

Community put on hiatus

BEST:

End of Iraq War

NBA return

Protests around the world

texts from bennet

Detroit Lions

Skyrim

Batman: Arkham City

Jake’s Top 25 Albums of 2011

25. Tomboy - Panda Bear

24. Undun - The Roots

23. Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

22. CAMP - Childish Gambino

21. Relax - Das Racist

20. The Greatest Story Never Told - Saigon

19. Kaputt - Destoryer

18. Dye it Blonde - Smith Westerns

17. Wounded Rhymes - Lykke Li

16. Hello Sadness - Los Campesinos

15. Cults - Cults

14. Goblin - Tyler, the Creator

13. Section.80 - Kendrick Lamar

12. Nostalgia - Frank Ocean

11. James Blake - James Blake

10. Bon Iver - Bon Iver

9. Hot Sauce Committee Pt. II - Beastie Boys

8. Burst Apart - The Antlers

7. House of Balloons - The Weeknd

6. King of Limbs - Radiohead

5. David Comes to Life - Fucked Up

4. 21 - Adele

3. Civilian - Wye Oak

2. Nine Types of Light - TV on the Radio

1. Strange Mercy - St. Vincent